In the beginning God created Hamburger Helper

I grew up in the care of a woman who believed with all her misinformed heart that cooking Hamburger Helper was cooking “from scratch.” (Hi, Mom!)  This woman also kept returning her cookie sheet of cookies to the oven because when she took them out they weren’t hard. She said, “They turned black, but they still weren’t hard.”

You Don’t Want Me In Your Kitchen

I really can’t shouldn’t be allowed to cook. REALLY. I never fail to somehow “forget” I’m cooking and end up picking up a hot cookie sheet with my bare hands. If I was IronMan…or even Wolverine this wouldn’t matter.

So, invariably some of our dinner ends up on the floor. Because I drop it. Because I picked it up with my bare hand. Because I obviously have really intense ADD and can’t remember I’m cooking long enough to safely get food in front of the minions. Because I’m an idiot. Okay? There. I said it.